IN THE MOMENTS BEFORE SIDDHARTHA BECAME THE BUDDHA, WE WAS CHALLENGED BY THE DEMON MARA.

“WHO IS YOUR WITNESS!?” MARA DEMANDED.

MARA SIDDHARTHA REACHED OUT HIS RIGHT HAND TO TOUCH THE EARTH, AND THE EARTH ITSELF ROARED, “I BEAR YOU WITNESS!” MARA DISAPPEARED.

As I observe my own life and the lives of many people I encounter, I’m realizing how so many of us are the architects of own our suffering.

There are many causes to this self-inflicted suffering but the one I’d like to explore is our need to be special.

I Am Special-est

I think much of need comes from our attachment to the idea of being better than or less than others. And why wouldn’t this be true? Currently, so much of our culture is based on ascertaining differences and assigning value based to them. When a person has enough of the traits we value (such a beauty, intelligence, or wealth) or has one of them to a large degree, we consider them “special.”

The problem comes when we begin to think that only special people are deserving: if only special people are deserving then, order to be deserving too, one must be special.

I Am Not Special

“Smarter than the average bear” Is a term I often use when I encounter someone who tries to pull the wool over my eyes. I use it because so many of us think we’re far more intelligent than we actually are. So many of us think we are getting away with our social tricks, defense mechanisms, verbal sleight of hand–but we’re not. As Bob Marley says, “you can fool some people sometime, but you can’t fool all the people all the time.”

I think a large degree of this mistaken perception is due to our confusing expertise with intelligence. In our need to feel deserving we deceive ourselves as to the degree of our deviation.

Most of us, by definition, are average. That averageness manifests itself in each of us in a myriad of unique ways.  Despite that fact, so many of us cling to being different and special.

MARA SIDDHARTHA REACHED OUT HIS RIGHT HAND TO TOUCH THE EARTH, AND THE EARTH ITSELF ROARED, “I BEAR YOU WITNESS!” MARA DISAPPEARED.

The attachment to feeling special, different and assigning value to it separates ourselves from other. We separate ourselves from those whom are different from us. We separate ourselves whose difference fails to affirm our specialness. We separate ourselves from those who affirm our specialness too much. We separate ourselves from those we feel to be more special than us, less special than us.

And then we wonder why we feel lonely.

Black Jug and Skull 1946 Pablo Picasso 1881-1973 Bequeathed by Elly Kahnweiler 1991 to form part of the gift of Gustav and Elly Kahnweiler, accessioned 1994 http://www.tate.org.uk/art/work/P11365

“We say ‘accentuate the positive’ which is a very male chauvinistic way of thinking…the negativity of the feminine is obviously life giving and very important” – Alan Watts

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. … The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” Seneca

Winter is both a time for celebration and also reflection. In the long shadow of winter we turn inward and consider our own shadows.

The Memento Mori or reminder of death has a long been  a feature of human creativity.

Philosophers, as well as spiritual teachers from Bhuddha to Mohommed have all encouraged seekers to meditate on their own mortality.

Much of art and poetry have contained the same themes, consider Shakespeare’s sonnet  XVII:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? 
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Which clearly reminds the addressee and the reader of the temporality of physical beauty and the physical form.

It has also been a theme of many visual artists as well whether explicit or implied. Skulls, butterflies, bubbles, hourglassed, broken stopwatches, blown out candles, and dead flowers are a just some of the classic motifs of death. Sometimes, the theme of death and decay are on the surface, sometimes embedded in the very objects of seeming sensuality.

Still Life with a Volume of Wither’s ‘Emblemes’ 1696 Edward Collier active 1662-1708 Purchased 1949 http://www.tate.org.uk/art/work/N05916

Reminders of Death spur us to consider that our time is now and we cannot wait for tomorrow to dance, play or connect.

Links

Alan Watts – Nature of God and Death

The Daily Stoic

• https://dailystoic.com/memento-mori/

Searching the interwebs, I was able to find some really neat videos on Contact Improvisation.

Here is a list of some dance events in the Bay Area:

Contact Improv: https://danceplayconnect.com/contact-improv-bay-area-2/

Other Contact Improv Websites

• https://www.contactimprovba.org/classes/
• http://contactimprov.net/jams/list/United_States/California
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/bayarea.ci/
• http://www.contactimprov.com/california.html

Dance Events: https://danceplayconnect.com/dance/

Poit of Contact Exploration

Interview with Karl Frost

In his book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, Robert Putnam describes how Americans’ increasing isolation has led to a decreasing social capital. Others have documented that despite social media, the average American has fewer strong ties and weak ties. Depression, isolation, and social anxiety have grown as have suicide, addiction and other forms of self harm. One cannot help but wonder if the lack of connection has other affects as well: consider the number of mass shooters who were described as “loners,” and whose social meda posts could often been seen as a cry for attention and the desire to belong to something, anything. 

It is not unrealistic to imagine that much of the political balkanization and vitriol can also be attributed to the contraction of our social circles.

So the question is how to reverse these trends? Joining groups, clubs, and organizations where you encounter different types of people is great way to start. Dancing is a great example of an activity that is extremely social. Making connections doesn’t have to be big either, it could be small too — a conversation at a grocery store or in line for coffee…

The Mysticism of Sound and Music

The Mysticism of Sound and Music: The Sufi Teaching of Hazrat Inayat Khan is a book which deeply impacted my approach to music. In the book, he argues that music is in many ways, music for the soul. As such, we should be as mindful of the music we listen to as the food we eat.

• PDF
• Free Online Version
• Amazon

In keeping with the theme of mindful music listening, if you’re a fan of Ecstatic Dance take a moment to listen the Soundcloud offerings of DJs who regularly play at Ecstatic Dance Oakland.

• Alia – https://soundcloud.com/aliafrequency
• Sasha Rose – https://soundcloud.com/sasharose
• Sol Rising – https://soundcloud.com/djsolrising

You can listen to Wikipedia edit in real time.

• http://listen.hatnote.com/

Listen to your city:

• http://youarelisteningtolosangeles.com/oakland

“We want to live in world where art is not spectacle.”

I couldn’t help but post this powerful TED presentation on Contact Improv.

What is interesting about contact improvisation is that it really is an exploration. Each point is not part of linear success of a point of divergence. Below, are some basic contact improv exercises.

  Dancing, playing, and connecting are good for our health and happiness. There are so many activities and opportunities in the Bay Area. This site is a humble attempt to consolidate the goings on.